“Over 30 years I must have spent about half a million on gear! Imagine that! If I had that money now, I’d go on detox, get on a cruise ship for 3 months or whatever… If you’re on one of them ships, it doesn’t matter if you can’t sleep, does it? Cos there’s always something to do. Hopefully when I get back then I won’t be interested anymore.”
“Most addicts, they have a reason. They’ve been abused or whatever.
But not me. I had a good childhood. I just fell into it.”
James is 53 and normally lives with the mother of his two children, even though they no longer consider themselves a couple. Sometimes, like today, she has enough of him and James gets “bin-bagged” out of the house. When this happens, he goes to stay with his mum for a few days until he is allowed back into the house.
A couple of years ago, James was diagnosed with early onset dementia. He has started to forget things, and feels like his habit has gotten worse since the diagnosis. This also affects how he sees his future.
“I don’t see me stopping drugs. … What’s the use of stopping? Because I’m going to be ill soon anyway, and forget everything… so I may as well enjoy it now!”